Introduction

Parenting is not easy is it. I’d even go as far as describing it to be the greatest gift, wrapped up in invisible military grade psychological torture!

Are you feeling exhausted, frustrated and over whelmed? Or maybe you recognise that your little person is exhausted, frustrated and over whelmed and you’re not sure how to help!

Well, I’m here to offer you some support. I have formulated a guide that will give you all the information you need to help both yourself and your child on your personal journey.

I guess you’re wondering who I am and what qualifies me to give you this support in the first place?!

Well, I’m a mum. This is me in the photo with my son who was 9 months old at the time this was taken and I was just about to crash, emotionally, physically and mentally. Can you tell? We’re great at holding the world up as mothers, but inside it’s a different story.

I entered into a world of motherhood feeling completely in control, until I‘d had 9 months of exhaustion, a depleted immune system and now my little boy was climbing, screaming, biting and resisting my directive. I was shouting and frustrated, tired and over whelmed. I felt like my baby would be better off without me. He would be happier without me. I became scared that in a moment of desperation I’d step out into the road and end it all. I didn’t tell anyone I was having these thoughts, because I felt like a failure and I was afraid that suddenly everyone close to me would think I was a failure too. They’d see a weakness. They would judge me on how I couldn’t cope, telling me how they’d had to just get on with it in their day. But I visualised that truck taking me out, all day every day and this feeling of blackness being gone – for good.

Recognising the seriousness of the state of my mental health, I phoned the doctor and was given an appointment immediately. It was a locum doctor. She diagnosed me with post natal depression and prescribed anti depressants. I spent the next few months in a fog of survival. My beautiful little boy kept growing and striving and I still didn’t know how to manage his ever changing personality!

One summers day whilst we were staying in a cottage in the country, I had a moment of realisation. It suddenly dawned on me that the older my boy was, the less skilled I was at parenting and the bigger the battles were to achieve anything. I wasn’t sad, I wasn’t depressed, I needed practical advice. A toolkit!

I wanted to know how to get my son to co-operate with things like brushing his teeth and getting dressed. I just wanted some guidance to mobilise him and stop me from feeling ignored and enraged!

So, with zero guidance available from any official services, I embarked on absorbing as much information as possible from the internet, reading more parenting books than I ever knew existed, attending countless webinars, listening to hours and hours of audio books in the car on parenting “tools” and finally I decided to get a qualification in child psychology.

My journey throughout all of this was astounding, from a self discovery perspective.

The more I learnt, the more I understood what makes our children behave the way they do. I also realised that my own childhood did not prepare me to be the best of myself and I was suddenly empowered with the gift of realising my own self worth.

I began to realise that my diagnosed post natal depression was not the feeling of wanting to hurt my child (which the doctor had initially asked me; “is your child at any risk of harm” when I went in to say I was having suicidal thoughts), but it was actually post natal exhaustion. My brain was in fight or flight mode, having lacked sleep for so long.

Is post natal depression really a depression or actually just exhaustion? Psychologically I was reading and hearing words that resonated with me. A depression is a feeling described when all hope has gone. The question is; whats the trigger? I had not lost hope, I had reached the end of my rope! Post natal rope at that!!

My research allowed me to begin implementing a new approach with my son, to see what a difference it would make. The progress was instant in some cases. Other things had to be worked on and took longer but the changes were apparent. The physical violence I was experiencing from him were stopped, not reduced, stopped. The tantrums stopped, the battles stopped. I realised my relationship with my 3 year old was outstandingly improved. Friends of children a similar age started asking me what changes I’d made and so that’s where this journey began. Sharing my knowledge to help others.

Each technique is tried and tested and is encompassed in this affordable guide that doesn’t involve 40 hours of reading that no one has time for! 

I’ve created tools for parents who just want their children to brush their teeth without having to tell them to do it 50 million times!

My advice is for parents with children who are aged one to four years old. It doesn’t take into consideration children who may have behaviour challenges but there are some techniques that may support you as a parent in a world that requires routine and transparency through the implementation of visual aids that children can benefit from.

My tools are realistic, and provide you with skills you can share throughout your life, not just with your children.

By the end, I hope you’ll feel the way I do, like someone’s switched a light on in your mind.

This guide will provide a condensed version of all the research that I have done, saving you the time to spend with your family.

And lastly, before you begin, please remember, everything you are feeling right now is normal. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

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