Understanding Our Biology

The Prefrontal Cortex: A childs brain doesn’t fully mature until around the age of 25

What Is The Job Of The Prefrontal Cortex?

The human brain develops from back to front, so the prefrontal cortex develops lastly.  This part of the brain manages processes such as:

• emotional control
• reasoning
• logic
• problem-solving
• planning 
• memory
• impulse control
• developing a personality
• transitioning from one task to another
• focus and attention
• developing and carrying out goals or directions

The child’s prefrontal cortex is the last to develop, a lack of these skills could make meeting adult expectations a challenge.

Children Believe That Everyone Has The Same Thoughts And Feelings As They Do 

This is not selfish. Young children are unable to understand other peoples point of view. They may be aware of another persons feelings, but it’s a challenge for them to understand the complexities of these feelings. In fact this cognitive skill is not fully developed until the age of 11. 

An Underdeveloped Prefrontal Cortex Makes Transitioning From One Task To Another A Challenge

You need your child to come to you to put their shoes on. They’re in the middle of play. You ask them to stop and come to you. They dont. They ignore you and continue to play. Why? Well, it’s a really big deal for them to stop and come. The child’s prefrontal cortex is still developing the ability to switch from what THEY WANT to do, to move and do what YOU WANT them to.  

Every time your child makes the decision to follow your request, it strengthens their prefrontal cortex. Your child has to make the decision on their own to develop self-discipline.  If you make them come to you by force (pick them up and move them to where you want them to be) it doesn’t count. However, every time the child chooses to transition on their own free will it cuts a deeper rut in their brain that will eventually make the transition smoother and teaches them how to harness self discipline. 

An Under-developed Prefrontal Cortex Makes Multi-Step Directions Tough For Younger Children

When children 5 years old and younger encounter a situation, they focus on only one aspect or object. When multiple events or objects of importance become involved, their brains are challenged.

Sample language: Put on your shoes. Then, get your bag. Then load up in the car.

You may notice that your child does the first step and thinks they’re done. That’s because they focus on one aspect. 

Children Lack Impulse Control

Often times, parents expect children to share their belongings, but this is something that develops gradually over a period of time. It is best to encourage children to take turns. It’s real life. Think about it. If you’re working at your computer and your husband walks up to you and needs it, do you automatically give it to him. No. You do what you need to, and then its his turn.

Other important areas affected by impulse control:

• Stealing
• Destroying things
• Lying
• Explosive Anger
• Harming people or animals
• Chewing things
• Pulling hair 
• Compulsiveness

When these behaviours occur in children, we tend to overact because we worry that our children will grow up to be awful, mean, violent adults! Be reassured that your child is up against an under-developed prefrontal cortex.

Understanding the biology of your childs brain now means that you can support them instead of responding in anger/frustration, but I appreciate this doesn’t tell you how to do that when you’re faced with the reality of just needing to mobilise your son or daughter so you can leave the house on time! I have formulated the tools you need to help you through these scenarios which I’ve developed in my 7 Golden R’s. The 7 Golden R’s are created based on research and experience. To access this key information that I have developed, you’ll need to subscribe. I know, its annoying but I’ve spent the best part of four years doing the research, refining, testing and developing it.

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I want to enable you to turn parenting easy. Thats why you’re here reading this in the first place! You want to be in control. You need to know how to do it your way. The way that feels right to your family whilst being guided by science and not being preached to by fluffy positive parenting quips. Remember, I am a mum. I know how it feels to be absolutely exasperated by your child. To feel powerless by their smart arse responses and their defiance. So allow me to show you through my tried and tested tools.